The what, why and how of Heart Hugs
I remember reading ‘The Celestine Prophecy’ by James Redfield and ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne and being fascinated with the idea of manifesting anything I wanted by thinking about it.
I started reading more books on similar topics over the years and tried manifesting small things. Sometimes things happened against the odds, seemingly triggered by my focused thoughts. Other times, nothing happened. I went from being fascinated and excited to feeling confused and even disappointed and back again.
That was until I learned more about the power of the heart.
I am not an expert on heart coherence, and I am not a scientist. But I love to explore and learn by putting things into practice – especially if it can help me grow as a facilitator. This is how I summarized for myself the theory of “thought become things” based on what I have picked up so far, ever since I read my first book on manifesting.
Our brain is a network of firing nerve cells that generates an electrical field.
Our heart generates the strongest magnetic field extending beyond our bodies in all directions around us. The heart’s magnetic field can even be measured at a certain distance from our bodies.
The signals from our heart to our brain impact how we perceive the world, think, feel, and perform.
How we feel thus influences how we think, and our thoughts again influence how we feel.
This two-way communication between the heart and brain impacts our overall state and our electromagnetic field.
Our electromagnetic field is different when we are in a negative state (anger, irritation, threatened) compared to a positive state (gratitude, appreciation, love).
Our electromagnetic field can be measured as well as felt by other people.
Our electromagnetic field resonates with and thereby attracts what we experience in our lives
Basically, I realized it’s not just our thinking that creates our reality. It’s our thinking and feeling, the brain and the heart together, that do so.
When strong intentions in our thinking are backed up with intense positive emotions, we create a wide electromagnetic field around us. It can feel uplifting and inspiring when you spend time with people in that state. On the other hand, when you spend time with someone experiencing and expressing negative thoughts and emotions, you can feel drained. Emotions can rub off on others – as can thoughts – which means that time spent in others’ fields will affect your own state.
Based on this realization, I started experimenting with a concept I call ‘Heart Hugs’. I figured if people can sense my state, and I can influence their states, then building on this could be a wonderful way to help people open. This could also be powerful in creating safe spaces in our workshops.
How did I experiment with the Heart Hug?
In each offline workshop, I made sure I finished the workshop preparations in time to be fully present when welcoming participants when they entered the space.
By the time participants started arriving, I was already in a state of gratitude about having the opportunity to lead the group to great results as their facilitator.
As each participant walked into the room, I focused my feelings of gratitude and appreciation on them, even saying in my head, ‘It’s so cool you are in this workshop. I feel blessed to be the person who will try to get the best out of you. Thank you for this opportunity’. My thoughts and feelings were coherent and genuine.
In addition to aligning my thoughts and feelings and consciously projecting them onto each participant, I also virtually hugged them with two huge arms coming from my heart area. When doing this, I truly tried to expand the positive emotions I had from my heart area to reach each participant in this virtual embrace. In this way, I embraced them in an imaginary ‘Heart Hug’.
While imagining this hug, I wouldn’t just stare at the participant - that would not have the desired effect. Instead, it all happened in the background as I nodded to them or actually said, ‘Welcome, glad you’re here.’
Each time I applied this ritual, something magical happened. People would start smiling spontaneously, or I would hear laughter when people started talking to each other. The mood would feel light, and when I started with a personal question during the first check-in, people would easily open up. Building the safe space to work in happened naturally, even with the attendance of very critical participants.
Heart Hugs are working for other people, too.
In my book, Captains of Leadership, I also explain this ritual of Heart Hugs. Remarkably, sales professionals have told me that, after reading the book, they tried Heart Hugs with difficult clients upon entering the room during meetings. They told me that even the most difficult client would, for the first time, spontaneously start talking about their personal life, showing vulnerability, while previously they wouldn’t step out of their professional role so as to not risk losing ground during price negotiations. Other people told me how they experienced the same effect when applying Heart Hugs when their team members entered a meeting where some sensitive topics were going to be discussed.
You notice the power of heartfelt thoughts when you literally do a Heart Hug. Meaning, hugging another person, heart against heart, you can almost feel the electricity between your hearts while you think appreciative thoughts about that person. But the beauty is that you don’t have to actually do this hug literally: it has a similar effect if you imagine the arms coming from your heart area with strong, appreciative intentions backed up by genuine feelings.
Heart Hugs can be given in an online environment, too.
We are working online most of the time these days, depriving us of the chance to sense each other’s state in real life. But Heart Hugs can be given online, too: it only needs presence and focus. Here’s what I suggest:
As people come into your online space, ask them to turn on the video as you welcome them. Or, if they are technically challenged with video, welcome them and then attentively listen to their voices as they respond.
You only need to see their video or hear their voice to give them a heart hug. With a single visual or verbal interaction, you can create the focus of your Heart Hug, which is the focus of your appreciative thoughts and feelings.
Welcome everyone one by one in the online space, give them focused Heart Hugs.
When you have a large audience, it is a bit harder to connect with each participant personally, but the audience will be more open to you if you give them all a big Heart Hug at the start. This means you become aware of all the people listening to you at that moment, and you generate a genuine feeling of appreciation, together with similar thoughts as you focus on them alltogether.
In any situation, this will have an impact on your electromagnetic field (even on line), and it will influence not only your own energy but how people receive and interact with your energy.
It might sound obvious to give people a warm welcome. But it’s not just a warm welcome. It is important that you really believe your thoughts as you connect with them and that you focus on your heart area when bringing up warm feelings of appreciation and gratitude. Gratitude is a very powerful emotion, but it only works when you feel it in conjunction with a social interaction or thinking about a social interaction with the person(s) you feel grateful for. That’s the trick.
Align your head and heart and focus your genuine thoughts and feelings on a social interaction.
So when you wake up tomorrow morning, bring your Heart Hugs. Generate feelings of appreciation for life, for the people you meet, for the situations and opportunities that lie before you. You will visibly glow, and you will change people’s states just by spending time with them.
And if you have the opportunity to facilitate some co-creation, Heart Hug ‘em silly.
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